Every sem ko na lang bang iiyakan ang grades ko? I wonder when I’ll start being really happy.

Support. An integral part of life is having someone to lean on, someone who will be there for you, and someone who will support you. I guess I found it funny that such a weird support system has come to my life in such an important time.

People have supported me even before, but a reassuring look, a word of advice, or a simple tap on the back from such a support system have seriously been boosting my confidence that my days rarely turn sour now. I guess, for some reason, even though I’m a bit messed up, I’m happy.

I miss my friends, my barkada I mean. I haven’t seen them in a while but at the same time I’m happy for us because each of us is growing and maturing on our own. We have been going through our own adventures that even though I miss them, I wouldn’t ever want to stop them from whatever they’re doing now (unless of course it’s detrimental for their lives that perhaps stepping in would be the best idea at that). I miss my best friend. Although I see her every once in a while, I still miss our heart-to-heart talks and our remarks on anything and everything under the sun. I miss spending time with her. I miss her. I miss my grades. All my life my confidence have been anchored on how good of a student I was but now, all I am is average. I miss being able to easily get the lesson, applying it correctly and just seeing what I should be seeing. I miss a lot of things but still, I’m happy.

Things aren’t perfect right now, that’s for sure. I still lack a certain number or partners for my job, I still have exams I have to take, and there are still people I need to face even though I don’t want to. But still, I’m happy.

Weird enough, there have only been quite a number of times when I’ve said that I’m really truly happy. And I never thought today would be one of those days. I guess I’m happy today because of certain supports that I’ve got. Meeting such people have changed my life. They’ve taught me so much that I know I’ve grown into someone I never thought I could’ve become, and in such a short period of time as well.

These people have been making me laugh, standing beside me when I was being out down or insulted, given me advice when I needed them most, but most of all, they’ve been such great friends. Friends.

My idea of a friend is, as I’ve been told very complicated. I never assume anyone to be my friend, I ask them. Before considering anyone to be truly a friend, I have to ask them “are we friends?” I know it sounds uncomplicated but I’ve asked them even when I’ve known a person for 6 months or even more. I guess I’ve always been afraid to share a part of me to anyone. Perhaps that’s why I have to go through such unnecessary drama just to consider one a friend. Friends for me aren’t taken lightly. If you hurt any of my friends, you hurt me. I’m protective of them like that. I can go on and on on how important my friends are to me, we’ll, they are.

To have these new people, new friends, in my life right now is I guess what’s making me happy. These people are the ones helping me stay up. They’re keeping me happy :)